A discipline is a form of education for your teenager. When it is positive, its objectives are:
- to protect your teen from danger.
- help your teen learn to control himself.
- help your teenager develop a sense of responsibility.
As a parent, you have created a unique bond of attachment with your child. If you use disciplinary measures more respectfully and make sure they are consistent and fair, you will have lasting positive effects.
The Canadian Pediatric Society strongly advises against corporal punishment, including spanking.
How to make the discipline work well?
The best way to deal with difficult behaviors is to prevent them. However, your teen may engage in unacceptable behavior. In such situations, your child must find that the disciplinary measure is right. If the measurements are not constant (always the same, as far as possible), your teen will find them confusing.
How can I help my teenager learn to behave?
- Praise him and give him regular marks of affection.
- Know what to ignore.
- Plan for transitions between activities, and talk to your child so he knows what to expect.
- Propose limited and realistic choices that you find acceptable.
- Accept the errors.
- Give him the example.
Explain to your teenager what you expect and give them the rules for good behavior. Remind him regularly of the rules and the limits. A good limit:
- is appropriate for your child’s age and stage of development
- Helps your teen control himself
- protects your teen and those around him
- is explained in simple language;
- is put into practice with firmness, respect, and kindness.
How should I react to bad behavior?
The disciplinary measures you will use will depend on your child’s age, stage of development and personality, as well as many other factors. Here are some strategies to help you:
Reorient your child misbehaves to another activity
- Reorientation, that is, moving from one activity to another, works well with toddlers, and sometimes with older children.
- When you reorient your child, explain to him in words what you do not want him to do, so that he learns.
Use the logical consequences
- Apply clear consequences to bad actions, directly related to behavior. For example, if your preschooler is throwing food on the floor, ask them to help you pick up the damage. Once the damage is picked up, the consequence is over.
- If there is no obvious consequence to his action, you can take away a privilege. In young children, the consequence must be immediate. For example, a teenager who plays too hard may be forced to play away from other children for a short time.
Encourage problem solving
- Problem solving helps your child learn the consequences of their actions. Help your child find a solution to his bad behavior: he will be more likely to implement it.
What if my teenager has a temper tantrum?
Anger attacks are part of the normal development of the child. They are caused by intense negative emotions that your teen is unable to control or express otherwise.
You can avoid some tantrums by:
- congratulating your teenager for his good behavior;
- avoiding triggers to the extent possible, such as hunger or excessive fatigue.
- distracting your child and redirecting it to other activities.
- Ask your child to express yourself differently if you feel that a crisis is about to happen: “Are you angry? “.
You can often shorten an anger crisis by:
- intervene before your child completely loses control.
- adopting a calm tone and admitting his frustration. For example: “You can be angry, but you can not hit. “
- Helping your child solve his problem or frustration
In case of anger crisis:
- Ignore his behavior.
- Watch your child at a distance to make sure he is not in danger. Move furniture and toys and keep other children away.
- If your teen gets angry and loses control to the point that he may hurt himself or others, he should be restrained by just using the force to hold him back. Do it with caution, to avoid injury. In no case should you spank him or use any other type of corporal punishment.
- Once the crisis is over, offer to drink water or wash your face.
- Reorient it to a new interesting activity. For older children, talk about what happened and find ways to better